It’s not the bears, the ice, or the dark that’s gonna kill me out here.
Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Allah, Buddha (well, maybe not you, aren’t you all about embracing suffering?), Confuscious, Comcast? In the name of all things holy, please send high speed internet to the lonely girl living on the icy hill outside of Fairbanks, Alaska. Please? And Thank you.
P.S. I can’t believe I EVER complained about living in Hawaii. I am a moron.