I very nearly crashed about ten thousand times on the way to pretty school this morning.
And it wasn’t the icy roads. (Luckily now it’s cold. Sharp, choking, daggers to every exposed bodily orifice cold. So most of the ice has evaporated into puffs of smoke that dance around on the pavement like the broil of the witch’s stew spewing out of the cauldron onto the dance floor; or was that just at my middle school?)
Anyway, the reason I was a traffic hazard: twin towers of rainbow light shooting from the tree line straight up into the sky. There were multiple towers at various points on the horizon. They ranged from a hundred to about ten thousand feet high. (And, while I myself wondered and re-wondered about a hundred times if I’d taken a hit, or a pill, or anything; to the best of my knowledge, I hadn’t.)
So, I’m trying to figure out if I’m about to have a seizure or witness the second coming, driving about 5 miles per hour with my face pressed against the windshield. Which, BTW, no one in Fairbanks really seems to appreciate as indicated by the deafening (remember the h.s. physics lesson on sound and cold air density? Not just a theory my friends.) chorus of honking and finger dancing errupting from my fellow commuters. Which, is why I would really appreciate the personalized plate “STDNT DRVR” and a clapboard sign on top of my car that says the same. Or maybe just vanity plates: “SORRY!” held in place with a “student driver” license-plate-frame-holder-majig. As of now, I’m making do with this posted in the back window:
Anyway, I start to worry, “Am I the only one who sees these things?”
I’m practicing saying, “I see vertical rainbows.” Like Cole in 6th sense says, “I see dead people,” when my phone rings and I get a chance to try my line out.
“I see vertical rainbows.”
“I can’t talk. I’m busy trying to figure out these rainbow spotlight things shooting straight up into the sky.”
And Mitch says, “Wow. When I got to work this morning I saw an upside down rainbow shooting out of the hospital roof.”
While I am trying to convince him he better confess all his sins and make peace because this could be it; I see a car roll right over, like 360 degrees around, and then keep on driving.
“Oh my God, a car just rolled right over and kept on driving.”
“Ya. A patient’s head just fell off and they just kept on walking down the hall. And then really tall; perfectly straight; twin-towers of double rainbows rainbows started shooting right out of the guy’s neck.”
It was too late for me to take pictures of the car rolling over and continuing on like nothing happened.
But, I started taking pictures of the rainbow bright things with my phone (because taking photos while driving with my actual camera would really give the people of fairbanks something to flip out about). And so far, the rainbows have not started to evaporate from the digital files, see?
Before I sent the photos to “Inside Edition,” I decided to google.
Turns out, these shooting ROY G BIVs are portals into the other world. And they are more commonly known as “sundogs.” Or, a phenomenon created by the refraction of sunrays when they hit the ice crystals suspended in the atmosphere on a really, really, really cold day. Like today:
From another world,