Could I be a Derby Girl?

Saturday night is Derby night in this ice town.

I walked into the Carlson Center expecting something a la “Whip It.”  (Fantastic movie if you haven’t yet indulged.)

"Whip It"

Alas, neither Smashley Simpson (Drew Berrymore), Babe Ruthless (Ellen Page),  nor Iron Maven (Julliette Lewis)  were skating circles, trash talking, and hip checking in their “Hurl Scouts” or “Holy Rollers” uni’s.

It was so much better than that. Dead serious.

The bout  between Fairbanks’ “Roller Borealis” and Seattle’s “Reign of Terror” included lots of skating in circles;

Oh No, Lead Jammer! Watch out for Tower Puss (left elbow check) and Shacka Khan! (far right)

an endless slew of underwear as outterwear atop fishnets and glittery hoes  (no pun intented);

glittery hoes

major derby carnage;


and, hands down, my favorite aspect of derby … killer derby girl names.

Salmon Ella! Brilliant.

Namely, Salmon Ella; MuffStache (jersey number 69); Deadliest Snatch; Shaka Khan (jersey number 2 N 1 and she had “shacka” icons on each of her butt cheeks); Yoko Ono’youdidn’t, JENeticly Evil … even the refs had names like Tiger Woody, who wore jersey number 911.

It all got me thinking ...

I can skate in circles.  Maybe my friend Katie (yes! I have a friend!) and I should strap on the skates and see what we got?

or ...

maybe not.

But the halftime show?  Well, I think there may be a place for me right here:

In one and two and three and four ... and don't forget to smile ..

Lady Gaga “Telephone” + some smooth moves?  My high school dreams might, just might, be about to come true in this little ice town on a Saturday night.

Hip Checks & Gaga Beats (because that’s how I roll).

Psycho sKatie
Qu’est-ce que c’est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run skate skate skate skate skate skate away

** If you’re ready to try out (or just iron your name onto your jersey)  … check out the roller girl name generator.

PPS – my camera battery was dead on arrival (rxn to the cold, cold, so cold car), so these FAB photos are all from John Nyman – isn’t he great with the camera?  He’s my brand new facebook friend from Anchorage.  Isn’t FB the best?!


4 responses to “Could I be a Derby Girl?

  1. You go girl! This will look great on a resume! Remember the cross country team! I will not forget that day ever!

  2. Yes, I was born an athlete, wasn’t I?

  3. you think you could schedule a home game (or derby) for when we visit??? and looks like i could do some tattoos for ya…don’t look real professional…certainly not done at LA Ink (or is there an AK Ink?)

  4. OMG…you made me spew my tea with the talking heads up there. I say go for it! 🙂