Come on Big Money!
My Alaskan gold mine.
My Alaska goldmine is appropriately ridiculous. It’s a tripod sitting in the middle of an iced over River in a tiny little town outside of Fairbanks. I’m counting on you, baby.
When the river ice finally begins to losen up, it's gonna move. The movement pulls on the wire that connects my little love to the clock tower. The movement trips a weighted meat cleaver (naturally). The meat cleaver cuts through a rope, triggering a device that stops the clock and signals the exact instant of "Breakup." Breakup is the official sign of Alaska's spring. Breakup has never sounded so good.
For $2.50 you can guess the exact day, hour, and minute of breakup and submit your hypothesis into the red bucket.
It's the Alaskan version of the lottery, a tradition since 1917. The winner gets the cash pot, which is estimated to be about $300,000 dollars this year.
My mom picked a couple of lucky days on a hunch. She's pretty sure she's gonna win. If so, she's gonna buy a pied-a-terre in the town that made her rich.
She's gunnin for the one with the dish.
When I win? Ba-bye Nenana, Alaska.
Any break-up date and time suggestions? We win, and I’ll meet you in Borneo.
Take the money and
Alaskarella, future thousand-aire
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