I haven’t been blogging.
Mostly because I don’t have a job and therefore can’t afford to send Lucy to “school.” (Did I ever tell you mixing a military career, motherhood, living far from family and friends who could help here and there, moving all the time, and being moved to a rural ice box with limited vocational opportunity isn’t exactly the career bliss I’d envisioned? Recently I read something that said, “The trouble with women is that instead of thinking “That’s the way things are.” We think, “That’s the way I am.” This idea liberated me from thinking I am a jobless loser to I am on a temporary career-hiatus due to my spouse’s military career. Note: I am on a list of approved instructors for the University, if any teaching positions become available, I’m in. So, my fingers are crossed. But, also one gal I talked to told me she waited a year … so … anyway … )
I’m on “career hiatus” during which time I’m “homeschooling” Lucy. I just call it “homeschooling” because it makes me feel like my life is more worthwhile. In reality, she’s 2 and I’ve already taught her everything I know.
Our daily curriculum includes “drawing” “pictures,” jumping on the trampoline, going on walks, playing “Miss Stephanie” (her ballet teacher), eating massive amounts of “snacks,” all while always needing more lemonade …
I can’t even begin to tell you why – but this schedule is exhausting. By the end of the day I can hardly manage to say, “Please get back in your bed” for the 88th time let alone think of a blog entry.
I thought, maybe I could blog with Lucy (like in her presence) during the day? I guess I was delirious.
Can you believe she isn’t even the slightest bit interested in being my writing buddy? Nor is she even willing to try drawing a picture, jumping on the trampoline, going on a walk, playing “Miss Stephanie,” or doing any of the other aforementioned activities on her own.
She thinks slamming the computer screen down on my franticly typing fingers is hilarious. She mashes the keys. She stands ON my computer! And when all this fails, she throws herself into a crying mess – on top of me.
She needs discipline. I guess our “homeschool” needs to hire a dean. Excepting that I don’t have a job (see paragraph #2) to pay said fellow.
So, that’s why I haven’t been blogging.
At first when we returned to AK I decided I wasn’t going to blog because a retroactive late summer self-review of my blog revealed something to me: my blog seems to be indicative of a massive need for emotion-regulating medication.
But, in fact, in reality, it was the reason I didn’t actually need medicine. It was my medicine.
And I miss it.
this blog post brought to you by: too much tv for a toddler.com (sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Maybe I’ll start implementing (even) more TV /me time because unlike the spray tan I tried to get with my little buddy in tow (NOT a good idea, it did NOT work out.), I do feel better now. Thank you.)